Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Felons & Job Security

   Most of my friends don't live in my world of drugs, guns, and violence. I've been engulfed in that world for over twelve years. I regularly get caught in conversations about all the stupid crap I hear. There was a time I would get amazed by the things that come out of other people's mouths. Rarely does that happen anymore, but I can recognize when something is so absurd that it's comical. About a year ago, I started quoting some of these conversations on another page. I figured I could give my friends a laugh and laugh off some of the stress of my days. Eventually folks started telling me I should write a book, so I figured I try my hand at blogging first. Please pardon me while I learn what the heck I'm doing.
   I've heard everything from "Marijuana ain't a drug, 'cause it's a plant", to "Somebody been puttin' coke in my coke, so I didn't know I was gettin' high." There are always the standard liars, but the ones that'll really get ya are the ones who have no idea how stupid they sound. It's also fun to see random things in the areas where I work. Either our country's mental health issues are seriously underreported or long term drug addiction can result in the most comical behavior I've ever witnessed.
   Okay, I'm going to warn you now. I'm a bit cynical. I deal with people who make poor choices on a consistent basis. I don't dislike any race, religion, gender, or age, but I gotta tell you, I HATE STUPID. With that said, I have no idea how I managed to get into a profession overflowing with it. So, be sure to step away occassionally, so your face doesn't get stuck in that "WTH" expression.
   Here's a taste of what I deal with:
During the course of my job, I have to visit homes. I have to verify residences and employment and girlfriends and baby mommas and school and treatment. Basically, I have to "get all up in their Cheerios". While arguing with a client about his actual residence (as opposed to the address he provided me), he said "just because you've never seen me there, even at 10:30pm & my mom says I don't live there & I don't answer my phone when you call & then turn it off...none of that means I'm lying about where I live!" Okay, how is any sane, logical person supposed to respond to that?


  1. Love your blog. I'm a prosecutor. I GET YOU. :)

  2. Thanks, then you know that this is just every day life.